Science is Science, Don't Challenge it
Someone's Coming
One evening Snow White decided she was sleepy and announced to the seven dwarfs that she was going to bed. After the usual lengthy round of "Good Nights" she went upstairs.
Immediately all seven dwarfs rushed outside and began standing on each other's shoulders beneath Snow White's bedroom window.
Tonight was Grumpy's turn to be on the top and as he was the only one who could see in the window. It was his duty to inform the other dwarfs what she was doing.
After a minute or two he hollered down, "She's taking off her blouse!"
And this as echoed down the stack "taking off her blouse," "she's taking off her blouse," "blouse is coming off," "taking off her blouse," etc.
Next Grumpy yelled, "She's taking off her skirt," which was followed by the echoes "taking off her skirt," "she's taking off her skirt," "skirt's coming off," "taking off her skirt," etc.
Of course the next line from Grumpy was, "She's taking off her bra!" and the echo chorus went down the line.
Then, "She's taking off her panties!" which again cascaded down the dwarf tower.
Finally Grumpy looked around and from his vantage height saw someone coming through the woods so he yelled, "Someone's coming!"
And the dwarfs said "Me too." "Me too." "Me too." "Me too." "Me too." "Me too.".....
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Posted by The Fun Guru at 1:36 AM 0 comments
Humping Dog
Three dogs are sitting in the waiting room of a vet's office. One is a poodle, one is a schnauzer and the other is a Great Dane.
The poodle turns to the Schnauzer and asks, "Why are you here?"
The Schnauzer responds, "I'm 17 years old. I don't see or hear very well. I've been having accidents in the house. My owner says I'm too old and sick so he brought me here to be put to sleep."
The Schnauzer asks the Poodle, "Why are you here?"
The Poodle responds, "I've not been myself lately. I've been especially high strung. I've been barking all the time, I've been snapping at people and I even bit one of the neighbor's kids. Nobody knows why this has been happening. My owner says he can't risk me biting somebody else so he brought me here to be put to sleep."
The Poodle and Schnauzer ask the Great Dane why he is here.
The great Dane responds, "My owner is this beautiful runway model. Yesterday she was walking around the house naked when she suddenly bent down to pick up something she dropped. She was bent over and naked when nature took over and the next thing I know I'm on top of her doing the doggie thing. I couldn't help myself."
The Poodle asks, "So she brought you here to put to sleep?"
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Posted by The Fun Guru at 12:51 AM 0 comments
Sunday School
The nun teaching Sunday school was speaking to her class one morning when she asked the question, "When you die and go to Heaven... which part of your body goes first?"
Suzy raised her hand and said, "I think it's your hands."
"Why do you think it's your hands, Suzy?"
Suzy replied, "Because when you pray, you hold your hands together in front of you and God just takes your hands first."
"What a wonderful answer!" the nun said.
Little Johnny raised his hand and said, "Sister, I think it's your feet."
The nun looked at him with the strangest look on her face. "Now, Little Johnny, why do you think it would be your feet?"
Little Johnny said, "Well, I walked into Mommy and Daddy's bedroom the other night, Mommy had her legs straight up in the air and she was saying, 'Oh! God, I'm coming! I'm coming!' and if Dad hadn't pinned her down, we'd have lost her."
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Posted by The Fun Guru at 11:09 AM 0 comments
Blow Up
A guy leaves his place at the bar to go relieve himself. He comes back about 10 minutes later, sits down at the bar, muttering and swearing very softly.
The barkeeper approaches the customer and asks what the problem is.
"Oh some son-uv-a-bitch snuck up behind me while I was at the urinal and put a gun to my head".
"Jesus Christ! What happened?"
"He told me to give him a blow job or he'd blow my brains out!"
"Yeah, then what?"
"Well you didn't hear a gun shot, did you?
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Posted by The Fun Guru at 8:36 AM 0 comments
Pussy and Bitch
A kid comes home from school and says to his mom, "Mom I've got a problem."
She says, "Tell me."
He tells her that the boys at school are using two words he doesn't understand.
She asks him what they are?
He says, "Well, pussy and bitch."
She says, "Oh that's no big deal, pussy is a cat like our little Mittens, and bitch is a female dog like our Sandy."
He thanks her and goes to visit dad in the workshop in the basement.
He says to his dad, "Dad the boys at school are using words I don't know and I asked mom and I don't think she told me the exact meaning."
Dad says, "Son, I told you never to go to mom with these matters, she can't handle them. What are the words?"
He tells him, "Pussy and bitch."
Dad says, "OK," and pulls a Playboy down from the shelf, takes a marker and circles the pubic area of the centerfold and says, "Son, everything inside this circle is pussy."
"OK, dad, so what's a bitch?"
"Son," he says, "everything outside that circle......
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Posted by The Fun Guru at 10:20 AM 0 comments
The Intern
A new intern is getting a tour of the hospital he will be working in.
He walks past a room where a man is vigorously masturbating non-stop, and asks the doctor why was the man doing such a thing out in the open?
The doctor replies, "Oh he has a medical condition where the sperm builds up so quickly in his body, he has to masturbate constantly or he will explode."
"Oh, I see," says the intern.
They walk past another room where the intern sees a man laying on a stretcher getting a blow job from a nurse.
Again, he asks the doctor "What's up with that?"
The doctor says, "Same condition, better medical plan.".....
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Posted by The Fun Guru at 9:37 AM 0 comments


